from comedians to bloggers everywhere: go to hell! (except for me, my blog is cool)

“Look, it’s just us [here]. Blogs.. .what a bunch of bullshit!” – Paul F. Tompkins, The Wolf Den Podcast

If you’re a person with a heartbeat, you can agree that blogs are the worst thing to ever happen to human society and that includes Adolf Hitler. Bloggers should happily kill themselves, knowing they are doing the world a favor! Okay, I’m exaggerating a little. However, like any good comedian, I hate everything that bloggers have ever done. I’ve never read something a blogger wrote and thought, “Wow, I’m glad I read that! I definitely don’t want to kill whoever wrote this!” Any Joe Shmoe can write a blog to boost his self-importance; all you need are fingers to type. Who gives a shit about what you say! Boooo! Get. A. Life. Right???

Us comedians thoroughly despise bloggers. And rightfully so! Comedians are the truth-tellers of our society. They aren’t afraid to call people out, especially those faceless, soulless “writers” of the web who have no purpose in life other than to shamelessly wrangle clicks at any cost. Comedians provide the world a fantastic service: they make people laugh! On the other hand, bloggers complain. Laughter is positive; complaining is purely negativity. Bloggers bring people together to hate on others gripe about the state of the world. Nothing could be fucking sadder. Who wants that?

Bloggers are a bunch of no-good, self-important nobodies who don’t matter! That’s a fact. But, you shouldn’t just accept that as truth; there are a ton of great reasons why comedians think bloggers should jump off a damn cliff. As far as I know, no one has taken the time to carefully, thoughtfully, and meticulously put these degenerates in their place until now. So, here they are. Here are all the reasons that comedians think bloggers are jerk off fuckbrains.

Oh and by the way, THIS blog is really cool, though.

Continue reading “from comedians to bloggers everywhere: go to hell! (except for me, my blog is cool)”